Widen the Circle

This week we are going to dive into an integral chapter of "Parenting Beyond Your Capacity" – widening the circle. When I was first introduced to this concept, I was a bit intimidated. I mean, it’s all about encouraging our kids to have relationships with other, trusted adults – for those times when they can’t talk to us!

Gulp!

It’s nice to know that my kids can go and talk to one of my friends, but to be honest, I am not too keen about them unloading the “messy” part of our lives – like when I say something stupid or hurtful. When I don’t say something and appear not to care. Or when I make the choices I tell my kids not to make. Yea – I’d rather not let anyone else in on those moments.

But then I think about the alternative.

I was a bit rebellious when I was a teenager (I know…hard to believe, right?). I was incredibly stubborn. And I made some bad choices along the way – choices I’d rather not see my kids make. Choices I may not have made had there been another adult, other than my parents, pouring into my life.

What about you? Did you have someone in your life who was able to take you under their wing? Someone who could steer you on the right path? Someone to talk with when you couldn’t talk to mom or dad?

Before you read this incredible chapter, take time to pray. Ask God to open your mind to the idea of widening the circle. Ask him to place people in your child’s life to serve this very purpose.

It is scary.

It is different.

It is probably not what others are doing.

But it is life-changing for your child.

Ask God to help you see what it might look like for your family to widen the circle, bringing people who will intentionally invest into the life of your child – no matter their age. It’s never too early and it’s never too late to speak truth into the heart of your child.

And let’s face it…you can’t do it alone.

Praying with you…D

Kickin' it in Gear

Here is the moment you have all been waiting for. It’s like a reality TV show… "Will D lose any weight this week?”

Well wonder no more. The answer is….

No. Not one pound. But I didn’t gain anything either so I count that as a victory! My grand plan of exercising didn’t come close to fruition. *disappointed* But, I will focus on some good things that happened this week.

Like the fact that I watched my portion sizes. I only had two Pepsi’s all week. And I finally signed up for MyFitnessPal which helps me track my food and exercise (I‘ve been resisting this). Those are all baby steps I needed to take in order to reach my overall goal. I know I need to get more aggressive…Next week I am committing to moving a bit more.

Okay, onward…

My family didn’t have a great meal week. I’m slacking in many areas of my life apparently!

Sunday - Panko Chicken, cheesy rice, and mixed veggies

This was easy. Buy some Panko breading, dip your chicken in BBQ sauce and then the breading, and bake.

Monday - Hamburger Helper (I know, right? I was gone all day…)
Tuesday - Breakfast (I’m impressing you, aren’t I? Again, I was gone all day!)
Wednesday - Rigatoni, salad, garlic bread - but I forgot to take a picture because I was running out the door as I was setting it on the table.
Thursday - Deer Steaks (honestly, I had ice cream)
Friday - Tater Tot Casserole

Another easy peasy recipe.

1 pound of ground beef (we use ground deer)
1 can of French onion soup
1 can of cream of mushroom soup
1 package of frozen tater tots
1 package of shredded cheese

Brown your beef. Add soup and heat through. Put a layer of tater tots on the bottom of a 2 quart casserole dish. Pour the beef mixture over top and sprinkle with a little cheese. On top of that, add the rest of the tater tots and then the rest of the cheese. Cover and bake at 350 for 1 hour and enjoy.


Next week I will be involved with VBS so my family is going to enjoy some easy meals - like Pork Tenderloin, cheesy ham and potatoes, mini-corndogs (which are actually quite yummy), and a BLT chicken salad. Saturday is Zack’s birthday so I will be making some lasagna rolls for him - his favorite. Come back next week for pics and recipes - yum!

This month has just been a whirlwind month with no routines. I actually thrive on routine so it’s been a little crazy in my mind. I mean, I even plan out what rooms I am cleaning on what day and what laundry I will do! I know. I’m a sick individual. But it makes me feel like I have a handle on things. And with my crazy life, I need to feel like I have it all under control. So…I can’t wait for work to start up and to get back into my routine again.

Spiritually, I have been spending a ton of time with God. Because I have been off work, I have had a little extra free time. I am also working on a new series for my examiner account called “Knowing God by Name,” based upon the book by Mary Kaasian. This is a great book and I am really excited to start sharing my thoughts with the world…or anyone who will listen. I love that I am learning new things with this book as well as with the parenting book I am doing for church. God is so good!

Next week will be an interesting, busy week…but planned! There is exercise on my calendar right along with my prayer and devo time! I expect to report some good news to you soon!!

Kickin’ it in gear…D

Letter I and Ice Cream

Oh my goodness, have we been having fun! This is my last week off from work and we packed in a bunch of fun in-between getting things ready to head back into a normal work week routine (which will be very welcomed).

Gavin and I started up the school year this week and we got right into it with the letter I…for Ice Cream of course! We did an ice cream taste test, ice cream math and colors, and of course, made our very own ice cream…so yummy! We also did some art - something mommy hates. Gavin had more fun that I thought he would and I have found that he loves to paint.

Of course we did lots of writing practice, letter recognition, tracing, cutting, reading, and more! 

I am doing a letter and theme for two weeks and we are in school three days a week. Gavin is only three and not very focused, so I felt that this would be the best pace for him at this point. I can stretch things out and repeat things for him so that he gets good exposure and opportunity for comprehension!

Well check out all the pictures I have for you this week!

I finally made a sight word board. It's not too shabby for someone like me!

This is our new calendar...laying on the bed till hubby hung it up for us.

Gavin trying to blow bubbles. We cut the end off of a bottle, wrapped it with a washcloth, and dipped in bubbles. He had so much fun with this!

He kept checking to see if it was working.

He liked to blow them into a big pile on the deck and then stomp on them!

A little math...A little fine motor! I gave him some dice, tongs, pom-poms, and a basket. I told him to roll the die, count the black dots, and then pick up the pom-poms with the tongs and place them in the basket. He had a blast!

Once he got bored with counting, we made patterns.

He liked the big pom poms because they were easy to pick up!

Counting muffin tins for chocolate chip muffins!

Using straws and play-doh to build things.

His creation

Our sight word this week is "can." I got some sponge letters and he sponge painted the words, "I can" on the top on a piece of paper. Then he told me all the things he can do and I wrote down what he said.

Coloring ice cream!

Being funny and licking the ice cream. Joke was on him...he found out it didn't taste so yummy.

This seriously was the best activity ever. I froze some gummy bears in ice, dumped them in a bowl, gave him a squirt bottle of warm water and some tongs and told him to see what was in the middle!

He even got big brother to help!

Alphabet puzzle

He was so funny with this! He would choose a letter and then crawl around the pile and sniff out the other piece. Only my child...

Yarn painting

Using a paintbrush to paint his heart for church.

And I wanted to share ice cream pics as well. This was a fun end to our week!! I found a great, simple recipe that Gavin could do with minimal help from me. It's freezing as I type this...The recipe is from Kevin & Amanda.

Mix 2 cups of heavy whipping cream until soft peaks form.

Dump a can of sweetened condensed milk into a bowl and stir in your desired ice cream toppings. We made three batches - one with peanut butter cups, one with cookie dough, and one with chocolate chips.

Fold in the whipped cream.

Freeze.

That's it!!

What fun things did you do with your kids this week??

Keeping it real...D

Easy Organization at Your Fingertips!!

Picture me jumping up and down, clapping my hands in excitement, and rambling on and on about something really cool.

Got it?

Okay - let the rambling begin!

I was introduced to this really awesome resource called AboutOne. It’s a secure (very important), online family management system that keeps track of all your family information. When I say, "all," I mean it too. I’m talking birthday’s, anniversary’s, health information, education, etc. It also keeps track of your home and car …all the details you need to remember but never do, like inventory, and repairs/updates! You know I am an organization freak, right? Well this site has everything I need all in one place.

Yea…brilliant!

Even if you are not a freak like me (and that’s okay…it simply means you are normal!!), you will surely love this site. Why? Because it provides a way for you to keep all the things that are important to you in one spot. No more searching for pieces of paper, digging through boxes, or looking through folders. You add the info that is important to you and you access it when you need it. For instance - you can add all your health information and family history, print it off, and take it with you to the doctor. C’mon - you know how annoying those forms are! I know I don’t remember half the info I need to remember and this will be a great tool for me!!

Now, there is a lot to this site, but let me just highlight a couple of things I love about it. You will have to head to the site yourself to get the full effect!

The education tab is extremely beneficial! I added Ryan’s info and feel a little more prepared for college applications! I added his ACT score, his GPA, his awards, his volunteer hours, his extracurricular activities, and lots of notes. Now all I have to do is pull up this page and let him get at those aps!! I even strated it for Gavin with his preschool stuff!!

I also love the newsletter feature. Get this - every time you add something to the site, there is a little box that says, “Save to my newsletter.” If you want that particular thing added to your newsletter, you check it and forget about it. At the end of the month or year or whenever you darn well feel like sending out a note to your family and friends, everything is organized for you. All you do is select a date range and print or email your newsletter.

Easy!!

And you can upload pictures too. The only thing I didn’t like is the fact that you had to put in a date. I wish there was an option to leave that blank for those activities that last several weeks (like my vacation). I think I am going to use this handy newsletter with my nieces and nephews. *excited*

So are you ready to try it out? Click here and try it for FREE!! Trust me - you will love it!! If you do, you will only have to spend a mere $30 for membership. It will be the best $30 you will spend this year. I’m talking peace of mind organization at your fingertips good!

Lovin’ AboutOne…D

This is a review post for AboutOne. I was provided with a free membership in exchange for my honest opinion.

You think I'm what??

I received an email the other day that asked me how I am the way I am - you know - perfect. Well, she didn’t word it just like that, but she might as well have. She droned on and on about this and that, wishing she could have what I have and be a “better person,” more like me.

Have what I have? Be a better person? Oh dear...she doesn't know me well.

Before you go and believe any of that garble (as if you began to think, “Yes, that sounds like D."), know that I promptly gave her a call and chatted for a couple of hours about the craziness of her claims. Apparently she didn’t read my blog thoroughly! I think she missed a few things…just sayin’!

As we talked, I heard her heart. She was simply feeling overwhelmed with some things that were going on in her life and she suddenly had the urge to want to be more like me.

That seems like the logical thing to do, right?

Yea - I laughed too.

Out loud.

Really loud.

And then I assured her she was just fine just the way she is and didn’t really want to be more like me. To make her feel better, I shared with her some of the ugly that people don’t see (and now I need therapy).

Like psycho-mom. Man do my kiddo’s hate it when she’s around.

And the need-to-be-uber-organized-and-know-every-detail-about-every-day-before-it-happens-control-freak me. Seriously, I can’t handle not planning and don’t deal well when my plans go amok.

We can’t forget the Anal Annie in me. She’s not pretty.

Or the me who hates to make decisions because I’m such a people pleaser. Seriously, I would hate to disappoint someone with Bob Evans when they were hoping for Applebee’s. Yes, I over-analyze the simplest of decisions.

I struggle with depression and I can’t handle rejection.

I hate conflict and often take on more than I should in order to avoid it.

I am incredibly scatter-brained. You could write a few dumb blonde jokes about things I have done or said.

I am also equally forgetful. It’s frightening really.

I don’t always make the right choice and I usually don’t have the “right” words at the perfect time.

I’m not a quick thinker, nor am I creative.

I’m not adventurous…actually I am quite boring.

I have no sense of humor. None. Zip. Zilch. Nada.

I am a horrible driver. I hate feet. I twirl my hair when I am lost in thought. I eat when I am stressed.

I earned a Master’s Degree that I am not using. I didn’t follow my dreams. And if I had my way, I would sit in front of a computer and just write all day long…about anything…about nothing.

Whew! Now everyone knows how messed up I am.

But the bottom line is this - God took a great deal of time in knitting me together. He invested in me. He loves me just the way I am and he will use me right where I am. Nothing about my life will be wasted.

The same is true for my friend and the same is true for you. Don’t look at what you think is wrong in your life. Don’t focus on the ugly. Look for the good. And remember, “I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” (Jeremiah 29:11).

Ahh…run to him who knows you best. You can’t go wrong!

Keepin' it real...D

P.S. I share this story with permission from my friend!

Wordless on Wednesday

I know...it's a shock that I am at a loss for words! But it's true. This is a picture I snapped of Gavin, who was tired and grumpy and ready to end his day. It's often how I feel...if only I could fit into the bag!

Can you relate??

Mustering up energy today...D

Your Family Picture

When I was *younger* I had a vision. It was of my future - you know, the perfect husband, 2.5 kids, a white picket fence, and a porch swing. In Deanna-land, my husband worked while I stayed home to cook, clean, and do laundry - happily, with lots of smiles. He always came home to a neat and organized house, happy children, a lovely wife (dressed in a skirt and apron of course…oh, and a beautiful string of pearls). He smelled the aroma of fresh baked bread and cookies. He loosened his tie as we all greeted him at the door and he listened intently to our stories of an exciting day. We’d eat dinner together as a family and play board games until bedtime.


Oh wait! That wasn’t a vision. That was TV-land and a cross between Leave it to Beaver, The Walton’s, and The Brady Bunch. THAT comes nowhere near the description of my family!! The real Kohlhofer family was married young, had two kids, and then found themselves in a messy divorce…only to be remarried six years later (a whole separate blog). We live in a rented home with no fence and rarely appear on the swing-less porch. I work from home in addition to cooking, cleaning, and doing laundry - and almost never do any of it with a smile. When Mike comes home, he usually finds a landmine of toys and is typically greeted first by the dog, then by the preschooler, and eventually, by me - in sweats or some other unattractive, frumpy clothing, frazzled from a busy day. He is lucky if dinner is ready by 7:00 and it is rare that our entire family is in the same house at the same time to enjoy it together. Board games are a thing of the past replaced by baseball, softball, workouts, and blogging - yep, everyone with their own thing.

Doesn’t sound like a fabulous family, huh? It’s certainly not what you would picture as a stock family! But it is real - for us. And God loves us anyway.

You see, our story is constantly unfolding. I would have laughed in your face if you told me I was going to remarry Mike. We were that far apart, in different worlds, with far different perspectives. But God was in the midst of both our lives. He was molding, and shaping, and changing each of us in different ways - because he saw the bigger picture. It was a picture we couldn't possibly see with our human eyes.

God is still carefully crafting our story each and every day, through the trials of teenagers (and by that I mean how they try us…and our patience); through the joys of a preschooler (it’s a joy when he naps); and through the roller coaster ride of marriage (Hello? If your marriage is easy, call me!).

Everyday experiences are preparing us for things beyond our imagination. He is using us in powerful ways, and our family - our broken family - has changed in countless ways. And he’s not done with us yet! We are still imperfect…but I learned that if we continue to allow God to do his thing, we won’t be disappointed and our children will learn to embrace a real, everyday faith - of their very own!

What about you? Are you ready to be used by God? To let go of the stock family picture and embrace your brokenness and imperfection? Wherever you are, God can - and will - use every situation, every circumstance, every experience, every thought, every feeling, every person, every family…for his glory - if you let him. God writes our story within his story!

Embracing imperfection…D

Serving God with Bad Hair and a Broken Computer

I knew it was going to be a bad day when I walked into church and my hair went *poof* from the humidity almost immediately. Bad hair days are always a sign, right??

I did my normal room check to make sure I didn’t forget anything for the Sparks kiddos and then I headed down to get ready for the Xccelerate kids. That’s when my day took a turn for the worse.

I turned on the computer.

Nothing.

My heart started to pound a little, after all, the computer is a major component of our mornings and, quite frankly, I don’t know enough in order to fix it.

Actually, I don’t know anything at all in order to fix it!

I took a couple of deep breaths, said a prayer, and then remembered that I had the same problem during the week. I had to get Tom to help me get it running so it made sense that I could do what he did and get it working again.

Still nothing.

Why? Why? Why?

We need the computer. All of our stuff for Sunday morning is on the computer - the songs; the slides; the video…everything.

Panic set in.

I got expert #1 who gave me a glimmer of hope for about 2.5 seconds.

He got expert #2 who gave me nothing.

Okay, now it was reality. We needed to move on to plan B.

Crap! There is no plan B!!

Cathy, always calm, cool, and collected, quickly formulated said plan. I was in disbelief when she pulled out old, I mean seriously old, videos for us to use for worship.

*barf*

And then, to make matters worse, we would have to use a total of three DVD’s in order to make something of the morning. (That made the tech guys want to *barf!* )

Although I was a bit grumpy, I resolved to say, “It is what it is” and get the show on the road. I sent the kids back to small group and explained operation CD switch to the first tech shift. We brought the kids out for large group and I sang the first song with them. Then, I introduced the video (which I had not even seen yet). I told them to watch and pay attention because there would be a quiz afterwards.

Tricky, eh?

I'll have you note that it worked! But really, the test was for me. I think the whole stinkin’ lesson was for me. It was on perseverance - not giving up when life gets hard…even the little things of life, like when your computer doesn’t work.

The lesson was all about making sure no one misses out on the grace of God. That could have easily happened today. I could have given up and settled for something simple. We could have played games and had an impromptu fun day. I could have grabbed one of those seriously old lessons and repeated it. I could have just gotten mad and left. I could have…but I didn’t.

Not that I am a hero or anything. Remember I told you I was a bit grumpy... But Cathy gave me her usual, “You’re fine” line and helped make things a little better. I mean, she's the one in charge and I follow her lead! As a result, kids heard a great lesson on not giving up, not getting angry, and working through the things that are difficult in life. Turns out I needed to hear that lesson too!

Praising God for life lessons…D

Memory Lane

How is your reading of "Parenting Beyond Your Capacity" going? I hope you are pumped up after reading chapter one! I thought it was a great introduction for the book. This week we will be moving on to chapter two - Stock Family Syndrome. Can you guess what this is about?


I won’t give it away, but I will encourage you to look at some family photos before you read chapter two. Take a trip down memory lane. Share some photos and thoughts with your kids. Listen to their giggles at your funny hair styles and clothing choices…I still get comments from my kids about my 80’s hair and leg warmers.

Shhh….don’t tell anyone that I really wore leg warmers at one point in my life!

In between stories and laughter, take some time for reflection. Think about life before children...and life after children. What is different? What has turned out how you hoped and expected? What hasn’t? Think about the responsibility of parenting. What did you say you were always going to do - and then didn’t? Or visa versa.

When you are ready, take the images you have conjured up in your mind and the memories you have in your heart, and read chapter two. Get ready to invite God into your story and learn what he wants to do in your life.

Deep breath…and go!

Happy reading…D

Tip the Scale

The numbers on the scale have risen a tad. *sad face* I blame it on my sister-in-law for introducing me to coconut m&m’s and Kroger for selling them to me. Oh…and my lack of discipline over the last three weeks!

Oddly enough, I didn’t gain any weight while I was on vacation. It wasn’t until I returned home that the scale began to tip in the wrong direction. I have many excuses…it’s been too hot to walk or exercise, I’ve been tired, I have had a lot to do in order to catch up from being away…blah, blah, blah. I simply didn’t make time to exercise in any way - other than one short walk with Gavin and one mad dash to the backyard to retrieve laundry on the line before a downpour.

Yes, my life is full of adventures and someone should consider videotaping it so the whole world can laugh with me…or at me!

I didn’t do much cooking for my poor family this week. I got back on Sunday and Mike grilled us up his famous cheesy hamburgers. YUM! Monday we ate spaghetti and Tuesday we ordered up some pizza. You'll be happy know that my family isn't starving or living off the science experiments that were left in the fridge while I was away. I did finally get to my meal plan and the grocery store!

Wednesday we had Crockpot Turkey.

The picture doesn't do it justice and it was simple! Throw some turkey in a crockpot and cover it with a 1/2 cup of OJ, a can of cranberry sauce, and an envelope of onion soup mix. Cover and let cook on low for 7 hours or so and serve it up with your favorite sides. We had cheesy rice and green beans.

Thursday was Sloppy Mac night.

Since it was terribly hot, I didn’t want to turn on the oven and I kept dinner simple. I made two boxes of mac and cheese. I used the Aldi brand, which I love way more than a person should. You can use whatever you like - homemade would be yummy! Then I made a batch of sloppy joes using ground turkey, a can of manwich, and a little brown sugar. I put some of the mac and cheese in a bowl and put the sloppy joes in the middle and ta-da - dinner!

Friday’s dinner was Goulash with a Twist.

This is another simple recipe to end a simple week!
1 pound of ground beef
1 pound of sausage
1 can of tomato soup
1 can of cream style corn
1 can of tomato sauce
1 bag of wide egg noodles
1 small bag of shredded cheese

Cook the noodles; brown the meats; and mix in the rest of the ingredients. You can either pour it into a dish and bake for 30 minutes at 350 or you can heat on the stovetop over low heat. I usually bake it, but this time, I used the stovetop. Tastes the same. I served mine with a salad.

I have also been trying a product my brother introduced me to - Havvn Jus and GO sticks.

I was pretty skeptical at first. Dad let me try what he had and I am slowly coming around. I am really noticing a difference in my health because of it and I have only been taking it for two weeks. The biggest thing is my energy level. I'm not bouncing off the walls or anything, but I do feel like I can make it through the day without a nap. I have also been sleeping very sound at night - which rarely happens with me. The product is pretty expensive so I don't know if I will continue using it, but we will see!

Spiritually, I have had lots of great time with God. I am reading several great books (check them out here: Books! Books! Books!) and gleaning some great insight. 

I’m off to plan my week of exercise to shed these unwanted pounds and a few more…I have a little extra work to do - drat!

Working it off together (right??)…D

Books! Books! Books!

Have you noticed that I have not posted a ton this month? I'm so sorry. I have been busy with fun stuff (not that blogging isn't fun...)!!

I have the month of July off from work so I had some extra time on my hands. What did I do? I went on vacation! Wouldn't you go somewhere if you had an entire month off? You can read about my adventures here: Family Fun; Retreat; PA Hills.

I also read. My extra time was filled quickly with books that have been sitting on my bookshelf for a while, just begging to be opened, underlined and otherwise written in...and I have stayed up way too late engrossed in the messages of the books I have dug into!

You may know that I have started a parenting series using the book, "Parenting Beyond Your Capacity" by Reggie Joiner and Carey Nieuwhof.

I'm actually doing this as part of a church study and thought I would add my thoughts to my blog as well for grins. It's an excellent book and a must read for all parents! We are on chapter one this week so it's not too late for you to join us!

I have begun the book, "Knowing God By Name" by Mary Kassian - A.M.A.Z.I.N.G. book friends!

My intention is to post my thoughts about this awesome book to my examiner site. I'm really bad at posting there and thought this would be a great way to develop a better habit - with the opportunity to "examine" God and get to know him even better! I will, of course, post the link here so we can all grow together. Those posts should start soon. Check out my first post here: Knowing God.

I am super excited to crack open the book I picked up today:

Have you read it yet??

I'd love to hear your thoughts on any of these books so be certain to watch for updates and leave your comments!

Growing together...D

On the hills of PA

The hills are alive…with the sound of laughter! I had the opportunity to go visit my bestie in PA this past weekend. My car got an extreme workout and this flatland driver was very intimidated. But now that I have experienced the hill of all hills, I am ready to do it again!

The view from above

Going down was easy...

Gavin tried hard not to tumble down!

The view from below

We walked up....just to say we did! Stupid idea!



Gavin is young and can run up!



So is Katie!

It was just a short weekend, but packed with lots of fun. Let me see if I can illustrate with some pictures.


This is Katie.

She was a brave, brave woman to get in the car with me and a stinky 3-year old boy (literally…he took off his shoes) to make the trek to hang out with Leanne and her family.

This is Dave and Leanne.

And their cutie patutee girls!

We went for a walk on the river one night.

A game of soccer on the water!

Gavin insisted on pushing so Katie took him up on the offer!

See the brown blob in the opening of the trees? That is a deer...on the top of the hill next to their house.

Saturday we went to the Strip District. I really wish I could have stood on the street to get a picture of the hustle and bustle. If I did, I would not be writing this today...

We stopped at Fudgie Wudgie's...and died in chocolate heaven instead!

We played at the park...

and on their awesome deck.

We ate yummy food too - that's always important, right?

We met some of their friends and had many laughs playing board games.

This is a seriously fun game...You need to add it to your game collection!




Before and after a great sermon on Sunday, we had a fun with photo shoots!

And then we had to descend the hill for the last time...but not for good! More fun awaits in the fall.

What have you been doing this month?

D